I will preface this with a couple of things. I searched all over the internet for the clip from the movie Mrs. Doubtfire that I wanted and couldn't find it, but the trailer is close. Also, in the interests of privacy any specifically identifying information about my ex-suite-mate has been changed, but the story remains otherwise factually intact.
Mrs. Doubtfire
To set the stage: My ex-suite-mate was originally from Scotland, she had the accent (all quotations need to be read with the appropriate accent), the vocabulary you would stereotypically expect, and an out-going, highly social personality. I found out over time that she is in her early 70s, and had unexpected serious surgery, and a boyfriend ("oh no, we don live together ye know, I have me own place"), and was going deaf. Everyone around me thought they were a sweet old couple, but when you live with it 24/7, sweet becomes old really fast. I mean real fast.
The Nickname.
I had people visiting at a time when she was in high-social-mode ... one of those times when she would call everyone in her address book (literally) and repeat the same story to each one of them. We could hear everything, but see nothing. So in the midst of one of these conversations, one of my guests said "OMG ... it's Mrs. Doubtfire .. 'I'm here to see the children'". It's a good thing we weren't eating at the time, there would have been half chewed food all over the floor. She was the perfect Mrs. Doubtfire ... the nickname was born.
The Boyfriend
In his defence, Herb seemed to be a truly kind man, and had enough awareness that when he was around he encouraged her to talk more quietly. He also brought headphones for her tv (which she promptly forgot to wear whenever he wasn't around). He would dutifuly come see her twice a day: once in the mid-day, but the second time, he usually didn't arrive until 7 - 7:30 and he wouldn't leave. Again, from everyone else - oh but they're such a sweet old couple. Yeah, not every day they're not. Not until 10:30 at night they're not. GO HOME, she has a roommate. Thinking that way made me feel alternately bitchy or justified, depending on the night. Visiting hours are until 8pm ... why are you putting me in the position of feeling bitchy about wanting you to leave. This isn't the cardiac unit ... she's still going to be here tomorrow.
The Character Trait
Like everyone, there are traits in people that I'm not particularly fond of. But one in particular, especially in women, is pathetic weakness. That whimpering, whiny, inability to form an opinion without the validation of someone else. Not the regular do-you-agree-because-it's-an-important-decision check in, or the infrequent do-you-agree-because-I'm-not-sure check in that most people have with their significant others, ... I mean the constant, incessant, validation type. I counted once. In an hour she used the sentences: "what do you think Herb", "am I right Herb", "I doing good, aren't I Herb" 14 times. That's once every four minutes and 18 seconds. I wanted to reach through the curtain and tell her to grow some self esteem. I won't even get in to her ability to whine ... award winning.
The TV
I have overheard more Anderson, American Idol and Dancing with the Stars than I care to in a lifetime. If she knew the song, she'd sing along. Enough said.
The Name Repeating
Because she was going deaf, every conversation - phone or in person - was held at full volume. No chance of escaping it. I knew every piece of her business that she chose to share with anyone. At first it was amusing that she had a habit of repeating the name of the person she was talking to. "oh, isn't that lovely Paula. Oh, you must be sooo excited Paula. You know Paula, they're letting me home at the weekend Paula." Then it became not so amusing, then it became downright irritating. One of my guests counted the time gap between name use ... in one phone call, she used the person's name every 10 seconds or less. That's impressive Paula.
The Visiting
At first I didn't mind her so much because she kept her socializing to her own circle (notice how many of my sentences start with "at first"), so I was okay. But one day one of her guests said .. "oh, you have a roommate" and popped her head through the curtain .. "hello there!" Um, hello yourself and get out of my room. That's not what came out of my mouth, but it's pretty close to what I thought. That was the end of it for me. After that my suite-mate had to socialize .. "oh, that was Herb's sister you know". "Herb's sister asks after you, hopes you're doing well you know." through the curtain. Then she started up with the spontaneous visiting "hellooo, hellooo, hi, hi" .. as she's coming into my room and plunking herself down in a chair. Uh boy.
That's when I asked for the private room.
Update since I drafted this post: She came by to say hello and to complain that her new suite-mate is incredibly noisy and the husband never leaves. Ah ... the irony.
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