8 Years.

I managed to get through May 2nd this year without really realizing that it was May 2nd.  I had a few friends and family reach out to me late in the day to comment on my surgiversary, but for the most part, it was a day in the life.   A day in the Covid-19 life.

Now there's perspective.  Covid-19.  I'm fine.  My friends and family are fine.  We are bored out of our minds with either not working or working from home, and we miss socializing with each other, but ... we're fine.  My neuropathy, my legs that can fuck-right-off, my sleep that is interrupted by pain,  is nothing compared to those who have lost lives or lost loved ones in these pandemic times.

My post surgery life is what it is.  To those who are new to a life after an intramedullary ependymoma, I recommend you start from my beginning eight years ago.  To those who have lived this journey with me, or have lived their own journey, you will know and understand that at some point your recovery is where you are .. forever.  For me ... I have had no nerve damage recovery since three months post surgery.  It is what it is.

I have moved on.  I have finally moved on.  It has been many years but this was the first year where I didn't cry on May 2nd.  The first year where I didn't reread the entire blog (and still haven't) and feel remorse about my old life and what could have been.   My new life is awesome, and awful, and normal, and horrific, and blase, and angry, and happy, and all those things that are life.

To those who are just beginning I'm sorry .. I'm so, so, sorry.  But there will eventually be a new version of okay.   To my old friends who have lived this with me ... cheers .. raise a glass of your favourite beverage and cheers to what is.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  I love you all.

This will be my last blog entry.  My email remains open to all who wish to talk about their experiences privately (sarahependymoma@gmail.com) and I will always respond.

Stay safe, stay healthy, and live for today.

xoxo

Sarah

ps - I would still sell my soul to be able to wear stilettos, so if anyone has any connections .... :)