I Need a Break Today

Today is one of those inevitable days where both body and spirit conspire against me to say "nope, not today".  The morning shower was a struggle, the coffee run was tiring and I didn't enjoy watching the world go by outside.  Even sitting in the chair by the window doing Kakuro was tiring.  Maybe it's my body's way of saying that I need recovery time from the hard work.  It's telling me to stop pushing all the time and just sleep for once.  Not every waking moment needs to be a working moment. 

So for the first time in three weeks I'm back in bed at 9:40am. Even if I don't sleep - which I likely will given the heaviness of my eyes - at least I'm resting and my aching back is well supported.  I'm comfortable. And warm.  Go figure - I was super hot all the time and finally got a fan, now they've turned the air conditioning on and I'm freezing all the time.  Life.

I'm also spoiling for a fight today, if I can gather up the energy.  My Occupational Therapist has really annoyed me with her "at home you should be able to" attitude.  Um, honey ... have you ever been disabled?  If not, then you don't know sweet pea all about what I "should" be able to do ... you can only assess based on what you see I CAN do. And then there's the wheelchair thing. Last week she was telling me to arrange for my doors to be widened so a wheelchair can get through them, this week she's telling me I won't need a wheelchair, this morning she gives me a list of stores that sell equipment and the first item in her recommended list is a wheelchair!!  Make up your fricken mind !!!

The administration here have steadfastly stuck to their discharge date with the "go home and we'll send you homecare" attitude.  All arguing, convincing, cajoling or advocating on my behalf has gotten nowhere.  Suddenly today there is the offer of out-patient services at a well respected rehab hospital close to home, or one to two months at a respite care live-in facility that does rehab. Holy heavens, make up your mind. Or at least give me the details so I can make up my mind.

Body and spirit need a rest, and I'm spoiling for a fight.  A good day to close the curtain and get some sleep so I can get into a better frame of mind for the rest of the day. They're kicking me out soon, so every minute counts.