Today I take Nothing for Granted

I suppose I'm lucky.

I have the strange fortune of having a serious issue without any significant risk of dying. Serious enough with risks enough that I am spending my final pre-surgery days appreciating the small things. Serious enough that I've had the fortune to see how many lives I've touched.  For many people, this doesn't happen until after they die, and then it's too late for them.

Yesterday I did a long spin class. I worked hard, my heart pumping, my legs burned with exertion, I sweated and I looked impressive (if I do say so myself :) ).  It will be at least 6 months before I can even get on a spin bike again.

I drove the car.  A small thing, independence. The freedom to come and go, even if it is the tediousness of doing errands, or the excitement of finding trashy novels for 50 cents at a second hand store.  It will be a while before I drive again.

I sit comfortably on the couch.  Feet up on the coffee table, sipping coffee, laptop on my lap, tv on in the background.  Sitting is going to take a couple of weeks, and even then it will be in small doses.

I ran up and down the stairs, doing laundry, tidying up, lifting, bending and reaching.  I will spend the next couple of months relying on other people to do that for me.

It's a weird thing, this appreciation.  I can't actually know until Thursday, how much I should appreciate today, yet I think about appreciating the things I can do today.  Is it possible to really know?  I don't think so.

But in the meantime, I'm thankful.  Thankful for those people who are thinking of me, praying for me, helping me, supporting me, preparing to do those things I won't be able to do, only because they care.

I will have successful surgery, I will get better, and someday it will be my turn to be the person thinking of you, helping you and supporting you.  And I will do it without hesitation.  Because you have touched my life.