I have to thank the people who convinced me to blog or otherwise diarize my experience. Yesterday was a glum kind of day so I chose to list my accomplishements as method of cheering myself up. I also went back to the beginning of this blog and reread all of my entries ... It was a huge reminder of how far I have come.
We forget. We truly do forget the bad stuff. I had forgotten that I lay in bed for six days with compression pumps on my legs. Rereading that was shocking ... I mean, I lay in bed for six days. Wow. I couldn't stand up on my own. I had forgotten the truly enormous effort of attempting to be vertical. I needed help doing everything, even moving from the bed to a chair.
It gave me the warm and fuzzies to realize that I am actually making progress ... I'm not stuck in an endless cycle of nothingness. Even in the short time that I have been home, if I think carefully, I can find progress in the small things.
I can:
carry a cup of coffee from the kitchen to the livingroom couch
- by far the most important accomplishment
stand up and sit down, carefully, without aides
- which sends people around me into a tizzy of don't fall !!!
make dinner, slowly and in steps with rests
- but no bbq's ... playing with fire is still a bad idea
clean the kitchen (see "make dinner" - I'm still no whirling dervish of cleaning)
- oh yay, that's just the skill you want to get back
go out in public
- the looks from people amuse me, so I am guilty of playing the crippled card sometimes
go up and down stairs by myself, with a cane
- a little freaky on stone steps, but I'm getting used to it
These are things I took for granted on May 1st, but things I would have given anything to be able to do on May 3rd.
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